


Brothers

by Star_Jelly



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: All aboard the Feels train, Angst, Angst and Feels, Other, Regret, whos ready to cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 05:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14969882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Jelly/pseuds/Star_Jelly
Summary: Edward is swarmed with regret from the past.





	Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> Title based off of the theme from the show. Go listen to the English version if you want better context.

“Edward, are you listening?”  
Edward’s train of thought was broken. “Uh, y-yeah! That sounds amazing, Winry!”  
Him, Winry and Alphonse were walking through the streets of Central, listening to Winry gush over every machine she saw. Not that that was a bad thing, Edward actually liked listening to her talk about it and found it very charming. But his mind was elsewhere.  
He couldn’t shake these nightmares he had been having; horrible images of his mother’s mangled body from that night, Alphonse dissolving in front of him, his screams echoing in his tortured brain. It was routine for him now to wake up kicking and screaming, with Alphonse next to him trying to calm him down. These nightmares were the worst form of torture for him. Alphonse had been asking around, trying to find ways to stall these night terrors and give his brother peace. But the ones he did find Ed never used. He couldn’t shake the thought that he deserved it.  
Everything that happened that night was his fault. He always knew it was. He had led Al down a path with hopeless dreams and now they were both paying the price. He could’ve dealt with it by himself, but Al certainly didn’t deserve it. He had done nothing wrong.  
And so he went about his most recent days like this, feeling hopeless and lost, regret swarming his brain. He didn’t care what happened to him anymore. The only thing that kept him going was the need to protect his brother. But as the three walked down the street, Edward was feeling more hopeless than ever.  
  
Edward trudged into his bedroom and shut the door, leaving it open just a crack, slowly walked over to his bed and sat down on it. He slowly pulled off his coat and let it fall onto the bed behind him. He gazed at the shiny metal of his automail arm. In that instant, he wanted to tear it off and throw it away. He hated looking at it. It was a horrible reminder of what he had done to Alphonse.  
Edward opened the drawer of the nearby dresser and pulled from it a crumpled, old photo. Everything else from the family home had been burned long ago, but he couldn’t let himself leave this behind.  
He took one look at the photo and began sobbing heavily.  
He couldn’t stand what he’d done. He knew it was wrong, even back then, but he didn’t listen, and now Al was paying for it. Even when he got his body back, there was no way he could take away the things Alphonse had seen, the things he’d been through. He wouldn’t be doing the military’s dirty work with Edward. They’d both be home, safe.  
He gripped the photo as he sobbed, his whole body shaking. He’d give anything to return to that time, before all this, knowing what he knew now. They’d both be safe, Al would have his body, none of this would’ve happened.  
“Brother.  
Edward looked up to see Alphonse standing in the doorway. He quickly wiped his eyes in an effort to dry his tears. “Alphonse,” he said, his voice breaking. He cursed himself silently for being unable to to disguise his sadness. “What’s up?”  
Alphonse walked over to his brother and looked down at the wrinkled photo. The brothers, much younger, and their mother smiled happily up at them from the photo, from a time when everything was perfect.  
Alphonse sat next to his brother and put an arm around him. Edward was surprised at this and stiffened up.  
“Edward,” Alphonse spoke, gently. “Please, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”  
With that, Edward broke down once more, clinging to Alphonse as he sobbed intensely. Al pulled him close.  
“I’m so sorry, Alphonse.” He sobbed. “I’m so, so sorry...this is all my fault..I did this to you...to us..if I had just followed the laws..if I hadn’t been so stupid..you’d have your body...you’d be ok..”  
“You didn’t mean to, though,” Alphonse murmured. “We just wanted to see mom again.”  
Edward drew in a shaky breath. “But I still knew it was wrong..” he continued. “I should never have put the thought in your head..”  
“I understand, Edward.” Alphonse murmured. “I know how guilty you feel because of this. But we can’t let this take over us. We can’t keep living in the past.”  
Edward pressed his head against the cool metal of his brother’s armor. “I’m so sorry, Alphonse.” He muttered.  
Alphonse pulled his brother close as he wept. “It’s ok, brother. No more living in the past. What’s gone is gone. All we can do now is live.” 


End file.
